Change has been a common thread throughout the dairy business in recent decades. Some change is easier to accept and some is painful.
Stress often accompanies change because humans aren’t naturally adept at it. Since change is constant in our business (and lives), it is wise to identify how you can control your reaction to it.
Life changes
Katie Coyne knows this all too well. She is a well-known showmanship judge, owner of Mill Wheel Show Clinics and former Progressive Dairy editor.
“Life is going to change, and it's not always going to change for the better. You figure out how to change with it,” Coyne says.
She should know.
Coyne is currently battling her third type of cancer. The first tumor was found in 1982 when they discovered she had bone cancer, which was a long and drawn-out treatment until she went into remission.
In 2015, change came again when cancer started in her lymph nodes, spreading to her tonsils. She didn’t eat for a month and barely drank water because of the nausea. The teams of doctors were confident. The whole process lasted six months and Coyne believed in healthcare. She also worked in ministry and had faith that no matter what, it was going to be OK. She eventually beat that cancer, too.
Then in late 2023, she was diagnosed with high-grade serous carcinoma, which started in her ovaries or uterus. The doctors also found that Coyne has a condition that causes her cancer cells to multiply twice as fast as normal cells – so it had already spread to her bones, lungs and lymph system. Chemotherapy didn't work, but she was put on immunotherapy to slow the spread. Then her mouth sores became so painful that she had to stop.
She recently started an antibody drug conjugate to try to shrink some of the tumors. She’s looking forward to completing it this spring and is hoping for a bit more quality time.
“There’s no way out of it,” Coyne says. Her prognosis is 15 to 18 months from August 2023.
Coyne has accepted this and is using her true grit and grace in how she is reacting to it. She says she has done everything that she's wanted to do in life.
“I’ve worked with great cows, great people, raised a family and built relationships,” she says. “I am at peace.”
There is one trip she hasn’t taken, and Coyne says she will now see Ireland from heaven.
Serving others
It is both comforting and heartbreaking to hear a friend talk about her life – and death – in such an inspiring way. We met through the Young Dairy Leaders Institute (YDLI) Class 2 decades ago and she made a point to help my daughter learn about showing at a higher level. She spent hours at one World Dairy Expo (WDE) going through the finer details of showmanship with my daughter, Audrey, where it was clear how talented she is at connecting with young people.
She’s done the same for hundreds across the country through building her Mill Wheel Show Clinic business, chairing showmanship at WDE and judging numerous shows. I’ve watched junior members come out of her clinics showing at a different level – and I know she’s proud of every single one of them.
“If you have a skill, use it to help others. What are your gifts that can be shared with other people? Don't keep it to yourself,” Coyne says.
She shares all her secrets about showing, and people often ask why she's “giving away her edge.” Coyne firmly believes in teaching them all whatever she can.
“It levels everything up. You make everyone and yourself better when you serve others,” Coyne says.
Coyne has left a mark across a generation of dairy youth, with lessons that extend beyond the show ring. When asked about her passion for youth and showmanship, she says, “This isn't about teaching kids to show. It's about getting kids excited about dairy. It’s about bringing new people into the business. You can't teach them enough.”
Lessons of dairy
In her lifetime in this industry, here are some of the lessons Coyne has learned from the dairy business that she tries to impart to others.
1. Always learn. Don't think you know everything. She's always been a learner and a teacher. You can be more successful when you're willing to learn, especially in a changing and evolving dairy business.
2. Make sure the people who are around you are there for the right reason. People should enjoy your friendship, perspective or look to you as a mentor. Be in a relationship for the right reason. There are many people who want to be in a relationship for one reason, and a relationship should be mutually beneficial.
3. Be well-rounded. She points to young people who have excelled in multiple areas rather than solely focusing on cows, sports or school.
“Don't get stuck in one part of life. Everything goes together. Take the opportunities you can, e.g., YDLI [or other dairy conferences], do different contests, etc.,” she says.
Coyne says she believes it’s important to stay involved in activities outside of dairy because bigger picture helps you with smaller picture.
Legacy
When I asked about her legacy, Coyne says she hopes people will remember that she has a great family. She’s close with her siblings and noted they don't always agree – but it’s a strong family, and they all have a different role in the cow business.
Family is one of her favorite things in life. They have a big family because it's not just siblings, kids and grandkids; it's nieces/nephews and lots of cousins. She notes that her family always being there for her is a way she manages her stress. Her advice is to always maintain that family relationship.
She points to the quote, “Your legacy is the people you've touched along the way.”
“It's so cool to see some little piece no matter where you are,” Coyne says, such as seeing a youth she taught now teaching someone else. “It’s about how many lives have you touched along the way and those lives have gone on to help others. Legacy means your work will continue.”
Solace among stress
When I asked about stress, Coyne quickly responds that life is going to throw you curveballs, from divorce to barns burning down to illness.
“Don't get so wrapped up in the stress that you lose sight,” she says. “When it doesn't go well, you have to figure out how to evolve to use your gift. Where is the need? Figure out how to move through your problem into something else – don't put your energy into being negative about it.”
“We all have stress, but you have to think bigger than the stress. Consider what else you can do,” she says.
Coyne finds peace in going to her 200-year-old barn and taking care of show heifers. There’s solace in measuring feed, cleaning pens, taking care of cattle – she loves going to the barn and found it especially helpful after chemotherapy.
WDE is one of her favorite things in life. Her life has revolved around the show for 40 years, from breeding cattle to getting cows calved in to constantly checking rations – and all the steps in between. She has passed that excitement on; her 4-year-old granddaughter talked about Madison for a year before the last WDE.
As we wrapped up our conversation, I dug a bit deeper about purpose – a key to managing stress.
“Everyone has a gift,” Coyne says. “Prioritize your purpose – don't worry about what you can't do well. Accept what you can do with your gift when life changes (e.g., teaching showing when she can't show). If you're not good at calf management, find someone who is, and focus on what you can do well. Don't be afraid to let it evolve because your purpose might change.”
We also discussed her faith, as it’s played a huge role in her finding peace.
“Grow faith, teach faith, share faith to make sure someone has whatever they need to be at peace. People try to direct what they want, by hitting 30,000 pounds of milk per year, for example. Sometimes you have to let things happen and stop being stressed. Just see what happens,” she says.
"I've had a pretty charmed life," Coyne adds.
And you’ve charmed many across this business of ours, Katie Coyne. Thank you for all you’ve done – including offering an example of grace and grit through incredible changes.