Congratulations, America! You are now done listening to political ads for four more years. I hope all my favorite political candidates won.

I was getting ready to go out on the town the other day, and Mrs. Faber was not impressed with my attire.

Now, farmer attire typically looks like a NASCAR outfit, with names of every major ag corporation adorning our shirts, hats and sweatshirts. We are known to drive 60 miles to get a free lunch, and when swag is offered around Christmastime, we are more excited than a little kid in a Superman costume. There is not much we wouldn’t wear if it’s free.

In fact, there is a little game we play that is not unlike leveling up in a computer game. It starts out with getting a hat in your local Branson tractor dealership, then walking into the Case IH dealership and, after the horror has subsided, you get offered a brand-new Case IH hat. Not to be content with that, you would walk into the local John Deere dealership and, after all the horror has subsided, you get offered a brand-new John Deere hat in place of your Case IH hat. If you want to get the complete upgrade, you would march your cheap butt down to the local Kubota dealer and get the hat of the machines that power America, and are endorsed by Blake Shelton.

Your particular desires may vary.

In doing research for this article, I was standing in line at the gas station this morning and looked down at my outfit for the day. It consisted of Romeo shoes, pants with rips and holes in them, a Zoetis T-shirt, a Cargill jacket and a Make Milk Great Again hat. Ironically, there was a homeless guy standing behind me, and he was wearing Romeo shoes, pants with rips and holes in them, a Zoetis T-shirt, a Cargill jacket and a Harris-Walz hat. I guess we all know who writes us our government checks.

Fashion has never been the farmer's strong suit. However, there was an internet storm several years ago when Nordstrom’s rolled out $425 jeans with fake mud and rips on them. I did what most farmers did and immediately went to my barn clothes pile and counted out about $4,800 dollars worth of faux worker jeans to hit eBay with. Not only would my line of jeans come with genuine mud and rips, but they have a sort of scratch-and-sniff factor where you could relive the time a cow jumped off a trailer and sent fertilizer flying all over my prized blue jeans.

If there was a company that could just start making pants with their label on it, we could completely eliminate our farmer clothing budget. While it sounds like a good idea, maybe having blue jeans with “Animal Health” written on the back of it might be cause for more questions than it is worth.

I want to sign off with a joke told by one of the greatest presidential speakers, Ronald Reagan. He told of a Republican candidate who was campaigning in an area that was predominantly Democrat. The farmer called all his friends and neighbors over to hear a talk given by this individual; however, the highest point of the farm was a pile of straw and manure in the middle of the farm. After the speech, the farmer replied that he was impressed, as he had never heard a Republican speech. The politician replied that it was a first for him too, as he had never given a Republican speech from a Democratic platform.