If you’ve ever had the “soup of the day” at a restaurant, chances are you just ate food that was close to its expiration date. Just like your granny used to, soup is an easy way to use up leftovers. On a side note from me, never order the soup of the day from an establishment that is open 24 hours. The days run together because they are never closed. You don’t know what day the soup may have been prepared!
Everything from food and batteries to clothing and hair styles has expiration dates. When you eat food that’s bad, you can taste it. When you use batteries that are bad, you can see it. When you see someone stuck in the '80s with leggings and a mullet hairdo, you can feel it! You either feel excitement from a glimpse of history from your high-school days, or you feel the pain of that person who peaked during high school and is still hanging onto the “members only” jacket and bangs shaped like a perfect half moon with Clairol Final Net.
Dinosaurs had an expiration date. It happened when the rock quarry that Fred Flintstone worked at closed in Bedrock. Actors have an expiration date. It normally happens just before the third marriage and when they start doing infomercial ads.
We all know we have an expiration date on life. Our expiration date is the day we leave this earth – unless you're Nancy Pelosi. I keep waiting for the spaceship to come back and pick her up. Seriously, if we all ate that much ice cream and wine, our livers would have shriveled up decades ago. Her brain is definitely not immune to all the Botox, but she even speaks in an alien verbiage. I’m just saying.
Our careers even have an expiration date. Most people have a date in mind that they would like to expire from the daily working grind. The average retirement age in the U.S. is 63, or the day after you win the Powerball jackpot. By age 63, most people have spent their lives working hard, raising families and would like to spend more time with friends. It’s also at that time companies start to feel you’ve been in that position for long enough and that you’re too old to really have any new ideas to contribute to the cause. In short, employers would like to replace you with a younger version who might be more in tune with what the rest of the world is doing. Unless you’re a politician. Seriously, though, how can you be in political office for over 40 years and keep complaining that things need to change? You wrote and passed those policies! The way I see it, if we change the person, we can change the policies. And that is why I believe in term limits.
By the way, if you’re ever at this 24-hour truck stop here on I-80, the beer cheese clam chowder with potato is the bomb! And by bomb, I mean you're gonna…
