This left me sleeping in the truck in places I was never sure were safe. I purchased the “Teddy Bear” as a sleep aid. It was a Rossi shotgun, 12-gauge, the coach gun model. It was a side-by-side double barrel, the barrels just over eighteen inches, and with external hammers. This left me very capable of granting the wish of anyone entering the truck looking for trouble. With the Teddy Bear beside me in the sleeper, I slept very well indeed. I’m grateful I never needed to use it.
My two son-in-laws finally met. The younger one graduated from boot camp in South Carolina, just across the freeway in Columbia, South Carolina, from where Mark and Sue live. The younger daughter flew out to be at the graduation, and was hosted by her sister and family. After Brian shipped out to Maryland for further training, and Nikki returned to Royal City, Washington, I asked how the two sons-in-law got along with one another. Nikki said that they seemed to hit it off rather well. Then she casually mentioned that Mark was impressed with Brian, since he got to sleep with an M-16 rifle as part of boot camp. I told her to e-mail Mark that his father-in-law had spent many more nights sleeping with the “Teddy Bear” than Brian has with the M-16; also that the Teddy Bear was always loaded.
Mark replied by e-mail that he was glad he was not afraid of his wife to the extent that he needed to sleep with a loaded gun. I told Nikki to forward to Mark that I know my wife very well, and I know his wife very well; and that his wife is much more subtle than mine.
The next day, Nikki showed me an e-mail from Mark, which read, “Nikki, please ask your father if I can borrow one of his guns. Mark.”
John Powell, at the time from Meridian, Idaho, had a 16-year-old son who could be the trial of his life (the boy’s name escapes me). John said that his wife was one of those people who just could not take a teasing. “And that redheaded kid is just full of it!” One day I was showing off to John the “Teddy Bear.” I had some mild handloads in the gun, and showed John how I could hold the Rossi up like a pistol, cock both hammers and pull both triggers at the same time, firing both barrels together.
This made quite a spectacular noise, and the barrels, of course, rose way up in the air. John’s redheaded son had to try that. I removed the spent shells and replaced them with a pair of magnum factory loads. Add it up – twice the power of ammunition, and half the weight of the shooter. If John had not been behind his son, both he and my “Teddy Bear” would have been in the mud.
In private, I told John what I had done, and started to apologize. John would not hear it; he told me that this had been the best thing that could have happened to his smart-alecky son.
Ken Nash told me the other day that in the standard job description for a hay hauler, they had left out “psychiatrist”. He had a number of days back-to-back that he needed every bit of his silver tongue to get his help to assist him. You would think that paying them well would be enough, but it seems not.
One of his unloading crew experienced a total loss of motion from his pick-up a few days back,and Ken had gone and towed him home, with not even a joking reference to making him pay for Ken’s time and trouble. However, when Ken got in a little late to unload, this fellow was refusing to come to work; it was too late and he was tired. Ken said that he had to remind him forcefully of the incident with the broken pick-up and lay a huge guilt trip on him to get him to come and help unload the hay.
Another day, he had a fallen- down stack to load. Knowing that his usual boom loader had been short of work, he called him first, told him that this would not be a fun, fast load, but that since he had not been busy, he was giving first right of refusal on the loading. The fellow assured him that he wanted the job, and the time was set. Then half-way into loading, the boom loader got disgusted and wanted to leave in the middle of the load. Poor Ken again had to unsheath his silver tongue and work on the head of his helper.
My old trucking buddy Leo pulled off the best one ever. The plan had been to call from Mountain Home, Idaho for a helper to drive from Nampa and help him load. Before he got the call made, he was approached by a fellow hanging around the truck stop, who needed work. Any kind of work. No, he had not loaded hay trucks before, but he was big and strong, and it could not be very difficult. Unable to talk the fellow out of it, Leo loaded him up and drove the thirty miles to the haystack. The new recruit slept most of the way.
At the stack, Leo positioned the truck and the hay elevator, and started the engine on the elevator.
He instructed the new helper that his job was to place the bales, one at a time, on the elevator, while Leo stacked them on the truck. With about a fourth of the load on the truck, the new helper turned off the elevator motor, and stated, “I quit. Take me back to the truck stop.” Leo’s verbatim response is not fit for publication. He informed the helper that the truck was not going back to the truck stop until it was loaded. Moreover, that if he had to, he would load the rest of it alone. It may take the rest of the day, but Leo could load it alone if he had to.
The new helper stated that he would sit in the shade until Leo had it loaded, and then ride back to town with him. Leo then told him that unless he helped finish the load, he was not riding back to town in this truck, and that he might as well start walking now. If he could find town, that is, since he slept all the way out. Leo mentioned rattlesnakes, scorpions and the fact that the only water between the haystack and the truck stop was in his truck. He told the fellow that he did not have to hurry, that he could stop and rest and get a drink of water as needed, but he was going to complete his agreement and help Leo load the truck ... or he was going to walk across the desert and see if he could find town.
About six hours later, Leo paid the helper and let him out where he had found him. Leo said he thought the fellow was going to California, but he may be afraid of something there. I asked him what he meant. Leo said that as the new helper left, he heard him mumbling about something mean and the sunny beaches. PD
