It looks like a lot of us will remember 2011 as the “Year of the Showdown.” Between lockouts in the NFL and NBA and government gridlock in the House and Senate, compromise didn’t come very easily last year. So why can’t we all just get along? Of course, I wasn’t personally involved in any of the above disputes, so I have no idea what was said or done behind closed doors. But I’d bet dollars to donuts these conflicts boil down to one thing ... a lot of unreasonable people.
In all fairness, I’m sure we’ve all taken an unreasonable stance a time or two. And in our own defense, it’s quite possible that our inflexible positions were necessary at the time ... after all, you can’t compromise on everything!
But honestly, who looks forward to dealing with unreasonable people?
It seems that dealing with people who are unreasonable is just a part of life and doing business. It’s the tenant who doesn’t think he should have to pay for his gas bill. Or the employee who thinks it’s OK to leave early and asks someone else to swipe her time card later.
It’s the co-worker who can’t be corrected when making a mistake because it hurts his feelings. Or the customer who orders an add-on part and then complains she got invoiced for it. It’s the boss or business partner who’s never wrong, so don’t even think about questioning his decision.
So what makes some people so unreasonable? I’d suggest you go and ask them for yourself. But one of the biggest problems with people who are unreasonable is that they usually don’t think they are.
Maybe their “unreasonability” comes from being selfish, prideful, stubborn, ignorant, vengeful or insecure.
Yet as much as you desire to resolve the issue through a mature, professional conversation, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to come to an agreement with someone who’s hopelessly unreasonable.
Even if you try to “stick to the facts” and sort out the details of an issue, their reality is often formed by emotionally charged interpretations, not what’s logical and true.
So what can you do if you’ve got people on your team who are completely unreasonable? Well, if you’re married or related to them, I’m afraid you might be stuck.
Nonetheless, unreasonable people kill teamwork and productivity – and at some point, you’ll need to have “the talk.” No, it won’t be easy. As you already know, unreasonable people are hard to reason with. Just ask anyone who has to deal with them every day. PD
Tom Wall
President
Dairy Interactive, LLC
tom@dairyinteractive.com
