If you give a kid a halter, he’ll ask for a calf. Because who wants to jump rope with a halter? It’s best used to walk a calf around. If you give a kid a calf, he’ll ask for some feed. After all, calves are like you and me. They need plenty of food and water to grow big and beautiful.
If you give a kid some feed, he’ll ask for some clippers. If he is going to take this cute calf to the fair, then she will need a haircut to look her finest.
If you give a kid some clippers, he’ll ask for a pair of white pants. Every showman wears white pants, so why should he be any different?
If you give a kid a pair of white pants, he’ll ask for a truck and trailer. In order to show off his calf, he needs a way to get it to the fair.
If you give a kid a truck and trailer, he’ll ask for you to escort him to the fair. He’s not 16, so he needs someone to drive him and his calf there.
If you escort a kid to the fair, he’ll ask you to stay and watch the show. He wants someone to cheer him on as he walks around the show ring.
If you cheer a kid on as he walks around the show ring, you will witness him win a show halter for having the best-fitted animal. All his hard work has paid off, and he has the biggest smile on his face.
And when he wins that halter, he’ll ask for a calf. Because who wants to jump rope with a halter?
This is dedicated to Randy, Wesley and Matthew Winch. These three boys bring smiles to my face watching them work with their show calves every summer, and then seeing that hard work pay off at the county fair. I also dedicate this to everyone who shows or has ever shown a dairy calf. Anyone who was ever given a halter and a calf actually was given much more. They were given self-confidence, responsibility, a strong work ethic and team-building skills, just to name a few. PD
This is a parody of the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff.
Christina Winch is a dairy farmer in Fennimore, Wisconsin. Email Christina Winch.
PHOTO 1: Matthew Winch showing his calf.
PHOTO 2: Randy Winch showing his calf.
PHOTO 3: Wesley Winch showing his calf. Photos by Christina Winch.
